Revolutionary Me

Today is 5th Ramadhan and the 5th day I'm wearing hijab. All I can say that is I feel peaceful. It helps to heal my broken heart. In a way. I feel so close to Allah. I can feel the love more. I purposely choose Ramadhan to start. It's a holy month. So why not.

I'm not a good example of Muslim but I try to fix myself while healing my broken heart. I am still who I am. I am still me. Only the appearance has change but inside I am still the same person. I don't want to be like some people who thinks they're in front row to heaven and judge other people. I've been in their shoes, they people who being judge because we're not wearing hijab. I always remind myself to never be that person to judge. We'll never know when they person will change. Some people not wearing hijab but they are kind and still living the way of Islam should be. Don't judge a book by its cover. I hate it some people judge me and say I will become like those people who judgy and thinks that I'm way better than everyone. I'm not. I have so much flaws.

A lot of people shocked when they see my new appearance. I ignore negative feedback of some people who don't understand Islam and tell me (yes, tell me not ask me) to open my hijab. I told myself they don't understand. But it was 2 or 3 negative comments. Most of them are happy and congratulate me. Some asked why all of the sudden. It's planned with only 2 persons know. I've been collecting shawl from time to time, few months back when some of them asked me, why do I need shawl? I felt a bit offended because even though I was free hair, I'm still a Muslim who need hijab for certain occasion.

I change my appearance because I want to. Not because of anyone. It's between me and Allah. I'm still learning how to mix and match and how to style the shawl. I love fashion and still in trial and error phase to be a hijabista. I also fixing my prayers, to complete all 5 and recite al-Quran. I'm trying to be a better Muslim. It's never too late when you decide to change. It doesn't have to be on 1st January for any revolution. You can start today and you can start now.