Writing On The Walls

Yeah, it's not just Sam Smith's song but I'm talking about writing on Facebook's wall. People wrote lots of things on their FB walls. Some share their stories, experiences, wishes, prayers and most of them pouring their heart out. One in a while, yes if you feels like sharing. But like 90% of the time with too negative status on the wall? Yeah, I know your wall, your rule. It's the choice. So instead of attacking or scolding that person, I rather unfollow his/her wall posts. Not unfriend, just the posts are hidden. That way, we can still be friend without me feeling annoying.

I did that too, pouring my heart out. Mostly anger and frustrated. Not all the time but sometimes yeah. But now, before posting something on my FB wall, I will think first. Should I post this thing? Or I should just ignore? The horror part of FB wall is sometimes not the status, but the brutality and bold comments that leads to cyber-bullying or sometimes end up with embarrasing yourself. That's why when I read entertainment post for example, I don't like reading the comments. Same thing applies to the blogs. Why? Because those comments show the ugly reality of this generation mental health. Keyboard warriors are so mean and sometimes doesn't even make sense. Until at one point you will asked yourself, "Does people like this really exist?". I bet you those keyboard warriors won't be that brave when the situation happen with them being face to face. Do you dare to look in the eyes and say those mean things to that person? I bet you don't.

Yeah, I did complaint some things like for example,when people like to have a group chat in front of escalator or entrance that were blocking other people's way or when LRT has problem. Still complaint, but not that mean. In the end I end up reposting things like quotes, shawl tutorials or recipes on my wall. Now I know why some people switch to Instagram. Well, as long as it's social media, mean comments are everywhere. At least I can enjoy beautiful photos without reading their comments.

Because of these ugly realities, some people decide not to have any social media at all. 

In the end, it's up to you.

Revolutionary Me

Today is 5th Ramadhan and the 5th day I'm wearing hijab. All I can say that is I feel peaceful. It helps to heal my broken heart. In a way. I feel so close to Allah. I can feel the love more. I purposely choose Ramadhan to start. It's a holy month. So why not.

I'm not a good example of Muslim but I try to fix myself while healing my broken heart. I am still who I am. I am still me. Only the appearance has change but inside I am still the same person. I don't want to be like some people who thinks they're in front row to heaven and judge other people. I've been in their shoes, they people who being judge because we're not wearing hijab. I always remind myself to never be that person to judge. We'll never know when they person will change. Some people not wearing hijab but they are kind and still living the way of Islam should be. Don't judge a book by its cover. I hate it some people judge me and say I will become like those people who judgy and thinks that I'm way better than everyone. I'm not. I have so much flaws.

A lot of people shocked when they see my new appearance. I ignore negative feedback of some people who don't understand Islam and tell me (yes, tell me not ask me) to open my hijab. I told myself they don't understand. But it was 2 or 3 negative comments. Most of them are happy and congratulate me. Some asked why all of the sudden. It's planned with only 2 persons know. I've been collecting shawl from time to time, few months back when some of them asked me, why do I need shawl? I felt a bit offended because even though I was free hair, I'm still a Muslim who need hijab for certain occasion.

I change my appearance because I want to. Not because of anyone. It's between me and Allah. I'm still learning how to mix and match and how to style the shawl. I love fashion and still in trial and error phase to be a hijabista. I also fixing my prayers, to complete all 5 and recite al-Quran. I'm trying to be a better Muslim. It's never too late when you decide to change. It doesn't have to be on 1st January for any revolution. You can start today and you can start now.

I Want Naked

No! Not me being naked. I want Naked 3 by Urban Decay. I've already have Naked the first edition, not sure why I'm not interested with Naked2 but Naked3 makes me go crazy. I love make up like so much. I won't get bored playing with it all day. Your face is a canvas so paint it.... beautifully of course.

Look at that gorgeous colour.

Yeah baby! I know you're waiting for me at Sephora. I'm going to get you one day.